Desert Planet
by Shiner Shining Bright
Summary: So I had this really weird/funny dream last night about a desert planet, so I typed it up and used it for a couple of humor challenges. BTW, hair from my back is from Pirates of the Carribean.


**Mace's broad-shouldered girlfriend and possibly the nickname Quiggy are owned by Sithstrukk. And this was a very weird dream.**

I woke up to a bright light above my head. Last I could remember, it was really dark outside. And the lights were out. Last I could remember, I was listening to my iPod to get to sleep, and I had fallen asleep to Evanescence's "Good Enough". But where I woke up, I had no iPod, and it was bright. I blinked multiple times to adjust my eyes to the bright light. I could eventually make out that this bright light was sunlight, and very strong sunlight at that. It was also much warmer than the cold winter's night I had fallen asleep in. So the sweater I had worn to bed made me feel even warmer than usual, so I took it off.

I was just sitting there now, in my fluffy pajama pants and the oversized summer camp T-shirt that substituted as a pajama shirt. My midnight hair stuck out here and there, and I was glad I was wearing my glasses. From the look of my outfit, I could've sworn I was dreaming. But looking around me only made the growing feeling of insanity bloom into realization.

I was on an island. It was like a beach, but with the postcard palm tree and coconut look that made me feel like I was on a deserted island. The small island was pretty calm and still, which could only mean I was alone. Still standing there, looking pretty awkward and pajama-y, I imagined being alone on an island, having to fish for survival, making friends with coconuts as I slowly lost my sanity. Or at least until I woke up. If this was a dream. I lifted my bunny-slippered feet and walked over to the palm tree, leaning on it as I questioned my sanity.

What sounded like a conga line wrenched me out of my thoughts. No, that couldn't be. I was alone, and my mind was playing tricks on me after 5 minutes of alone time. But then the sound came again and I couldn't help but turn. The sound was coming, all right, but I didn't see anything. My mind was definitely playing tricks. Maybe I didn't sleep enough last night...there it was again! Upon inspection, I could make out a party of seven partying. Upon closer inspection, I thought I saw Yoda in a conga line with Mace Windu, Qui-Gon Jinn, Cin Draillg, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Tahl, and some chick with really broad shoulders. As if the fact that they were all wearing flower-printed shirts wasn't enough, everyone looked happy around each other... And _why _were they all wearing leis? I took off my glasses and scrubbed them to my satisfaction using my t-shirt and put them back on, only to see the exact same scene as before! That confirmed it: I was definitely dreaming.

"Hello?" I called loudly to them, all too aware that I was wearing pajamas while meeting the only two Council members whose names I ever bothered to memorize. Immediately, the conga line broke up simultaneously and everyone turned to look at me. At first sight, the eyes of all the seven widened. Tahl ran to Qui-Gon and threw her arms around him, while the broad-shouldered girl did the same to Mace.

"Hello?" I called again, aware they had heard me the first time.

"What?" Mace growled. He didn't look happy, but then again, he never did.

"You were, um, having a conga line. Do you mind me joining in?" I asked softly, obviously too soft to be heard, so I repeated myself.

"You're a girl," Cin replied formally. "A human girl like the others. They told us that they wanted to join the conga line, then..." Cin trailed off.

"Then what?" I asked curiously.

"It's better if you didn't know," answered the broad-shouldered chick, holding on to Mace even tighter. Tahl did the same to Qui-Gon.

"Uh, okay," I responded. I turned away from them and was about to walk off when Tahl spoke.

"Don't you even think of getting close to my Quiggy!" she hissed at me, holding Qui-Gon protectively and staring at me fiercely.

"Not in a million years!" I answered with a laugh. Frankly, I didn't find Qui-Gon too attractive.

"Good," Tahl snapped and gestured towards the blue sky. Hanging from a rope was a small weed cage. In this weed cave sat a human girl, tied up. I recognized her as my friend in real life, wearing the same red sweater and jeans she always did. But here, in my dream, she was tied up with a gag around her mouth, keeping her from talking in addition to tying back her dirty blonde hair. Her hands and feet were also tied together with something that looked like rope but wasn't. My friend was staring at this rope variation with great interest, and wouldn't take her eyes from it.

"What is that?" I asked nervously.

"She tried to take my Quiggy!" Tahl protested. "So I made her this cage. Now she can't have Quiggy."

"I mean that rope-like thing that you tied up her hands and feet with. What's it made of?"

"Hair...from my back," answered Qui-Gon, whirling around stage-like and throwing off his shirt to show everyone his bare back. I looked away in disgust, while my friend in the cage couldn't help but stare in awe.

"Put your shirt back on!" I squealed in disgust. I did _not _want to wake up with the image of Qui-Gon's bare back burnt into my brain.

"Leave it off, you must!" Yoda protested in the heat of the moment, earning him a glare from the blind girl. But despite Yoda's short protest, Qui-Gon's flower-printed, Hawaiian-looking blue shirt ended up covering his back after all.

"Now can I conga line with you?" I asked.

It had probably been two hours since I had joined the conga line, and I had realized that Jedi were more fun than I had thought. So naturally, I didn't want anyone ruining my conga line fun. And just my luck, that's exactly what happened. Before I could get confused, a human girl had found a branch and gave a yell as she sailed through the air and landed in the middle of my fun.

"That was fun!" she exclaimed. "Don't you agree, Mr. Coconut?"

The human girl stared at the coconut in her hand. Looking at her, I couldn't describe her face, but by the look of her clothes, she had been wandering the area for more than a week and had lost her sanity, soon being forced to converse with coconuts. She had a loony smile on her face, confirming my conclusion.

"No, I'm sorry, Mr. Coconut, I don't think we'll have a lot of luck today," the human girl sighed, staring wistfully at the coconut.

"A lot of luck with what?" Cin wondered. He didn't have human fangirls like Qui-Gon did, so it was safe for him to speak.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S CIN!" the human girl squealed in joy, throwing herself at Cin. Cin stumbled back a few paces. He didn't have FANGIRLS.

"Yes, yes it is. How may I help you?" Cin murmured awkwardly.

"Marry me," the human girl stated simply.

"Who are you, anyway?" I asked her.

"Mrs. Xaja Draillg," she answered. She threw herself into an embrace with Cin, and when Cin didn't hug her back, she resorted to squeezing Cin until he gave her a hug back.

I surveyed the last two available guys, Obi-Wan and Yoda. No offense to the race of green dudes or whatever, but I instantly danced with Obi-Wan. I beamed as he bestowed the plastic lei around my neck, and we all danced happily while my friend struggled in a cage.

When I woke up, I could only marvel at just how odd I was.


End file.
